Have you ever noticed how much time you spend thinking about how you DON’T want to feel? What if it turns out there’s a different question to be asked that opens you to more of what you DO want in your life?
Here’s my love and me on our way to a date a few weeks ago. And yep, a water taxi got us there. Quite an adventurous way to date, huh?
We take our family vacation to this island every year. And at some point during that time, the two of us end up talking about our life as partners in life both personally and professionally. We chat about what worked well for us and our family over the past year. And we peruse what could be tweaked or updated.
This year, we enjoyed this discussion while eating delicious food and watching the sun go down over the Great South Bay. Ahhhhh. It might be the fanciest setting yet for this yearly discussion!
Here’s one thing we always include in these chats: how we want to feel…in our life as parents…as a couple…and as doctors in business together. Casual dinner talk, right? 🤣🤣🤣
Here’s the thing, though. There’s a reason we circle back to these chats each year. They feel GOOD!
It feels wonderful to purposely notice the ways our lives worked well in the last year. And this invariably brings us to what hasn’t necessarily worked so well! 😳 The unexpected part about noticing what hasn’t worked well is that we’re left feeling empowered to find a different way to do it the following year that might serve us better.
Do we always know what that different way is right away? Heck no! Sometimes the clarity just isn’t here yet. But you know what? That doesn’t actually matter as much as our minds are convinced it does.
Why? Because identifying how we want to feel in the coming year and in the various parts of our lives is the first and most powerful step in heading in that new direction.
I mean, have you ever paused to notice how much time you spend thinking about how you DON’T want to feel? If you haven’t, give it a try. It’s a rather stunning human trait.
Why do we so easily focus on how we don’t want to feel in our lives? Because our culture fosters a lens of wrongness that constantly teaches us to notice what’s wrong in ourselves, our lives, and the world in which we live. Just look around and you’ll see this lens and focus being used in the media, in your conversations with others and in the way you and others feel about yourselves.
This is exactly why it’s so powerful to ask ourselves how we DO want to feel. It’s a portal to new possibilities that can’t easily be seen when we’re tuning into everything wrong in our lives.
So we asked ourselves how we want to feel this coming year. And you wanna hear what we came up with? EASE! We want to feel ease.
Do we know all the ways to bring this ease into our life? Ummm, nope! Do we have some ideas? Most definitely. Is there a lack of clarity in some areas? You bet. Does that stop us from remembering that ease is the name of the game for the next 365 days? Not one bit.
Remembering this helps us return to what’s important to us as we navigate the year ahead. We’ve already been in a couple of situations since returning from vacation when ease was NOT present! But knowing ease is our north star helped us ask Power Questions like:.
- How can I make this situation easier?
- What if this ends up being easier than I’m imagining?
- I wonder what other possible solutions are going to show up that I haven’t even thought of yet?
- What if it turns out relief is around the corner today?
- What if it turns out more ease will be a part of this experience than I can possibly imagine right now?
Wanna learn more about how to use these handy little Power Questions to find fresh perspective in all kinds of challenging situations? Click here: https://dremilycolwell.com/how-to-gain-a-fresh-perspective-in-challenging-moments/.
So what’s your word of the year? How do YOU want to feel in your life? Or if that feels too big, how do you want to feel in a specific relationship…or when you wake up in the mornings? This simple question has repeatedly helped my wife and me point ourselves in a direction that softens the hard in our lives and ushers in the ease. And it might just offer you the same. Give it a try and let me know what you find. ❤️
P.S. Know a loved one or friend who is looking for relief in THIS moment? Share my free MICRO-MOMENT RESET with them so they can move into relief, feel more ease, and find more clarity without having to work so hard to make it all happen.
P.S.S. If you’ve been enjoying my weekly blogs and are itching for more daily inspiration, follow me on Facebook (Emily Colwell), Instagram (dr.emily_colwell), and Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh1EqJz3wcFJfICkN60krnQ) . I post frequently and humor leaks into most of my posts!
Emily Colwell, MSSW, ND
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