Have you ever noticed that the harder we work to control exactly how we want clarity to show up for us, the less room we leave for it to slip into our lives with ease and in any number of ways?
I was on my way to pick my kids up from camp a few weeks ago when I had a mini rage attack at my God Gang (I’ll save how I ended up with a God Gang for another blog!). Luckily, I’ve learned the Gang can handle this. My conversation went something like this, “Ok, Gang, listen up. I need clarity. Right now! I keep searching for it. And asking for it. I’ve been doing everything I can to find it. And all I’m getting is crickets and confusion. I feel stuck. And the harder I work to unstick myself, the worse I feel. I keep looking for orange butterflies (my sign that I’m heading in the right direction). I haven’t seen any in over a week. Can’t you even send me one? I’m doubting myself and confused about the direction I need to go with this thing on my mind. Come on already! Hurry up and help a girl out, would ya?! I need to know things are in the works even if I can’t see them. I’m serious as a heart attack here. Are you even listening?! It doesn’t feel like it. Ok, over and out.”
After this holy ranting session, I drove onward in the car, desperately scanning each passing bush for signs of an orange butterfly. Did I see any? No, dammit. Not even one.
After picking up the girls, we drove a mere five minutes away to the dog food store and I gave up my hunt for butterflies.
Inside the store, I grabbed the dog food we needed and stepped into the checkout line. My girls ran around the store finding many items they were CONVINCED they needed to own. I felt like a broken record repeating that they were welcome to buy them with their own money they earn from their weekly chores. Strangely, their urgent need to own said items continuously vanished each time they were reminded of this. It’s funny how that works, isn’t it? 🤣
At one point while standing in line, I glanced up…and nearly fell over. The woman standing in front of me was wearing a black dress. And it was COVERED in butterflies, most of which were orange!
I felt a rush of shock and joy when I saw them, ALL of them. And it made me guffaw right out loud. I couldn’t even contain myself. I called my girls over to show them. While my youngest didn’t quite understand, my oldest appreciates the significance of orange butterflies in my life and she was amazed, too.
So yes, seeing the multitude of orange butterflies certainly left me feeling more heard. I mean, a mere 20 minutes earlier, I’d asked for this during my holy rant! And it gave me a renewed sense of calm that clarity was moving closer for me.
But you know what else I was reminded of? That the harder we work to control exactly how we want clarity to show up for us, the less room we leave for it to slip into our lives with ease and in any number of ways.
My mind was so convinced that my clarity needed to show up in a very particular time frame and in a most particular way. And this conviction of mine made me lose my mind as I held tighter and tighter to these expectations and worked harder and harder to make this happen!
And then the orange butterflies showed up before my eyes, in a form completely outside of how I expected to see them and in a multitude I wouldn’t have imagined. It was as if to say, “See, Emily? Stuff is materializing below the surface, where you can’t see it, but it’s happening nonetheless. You don’t have to work so hard to figure it all out. We’ve got you. We’ve got your back. Let it be easier.”
So I ask, what areas in your life have you working like hell to find clarity? Can you feel the tension rising as your mind hunts for the answers? Do you notice how your mind likely comes up with only one or two possible solutions and they probably kind of suck? Does the story about this topic grip your mind at night when you’re trying to sleep or consume your free moments of downtime during the day? Is your energy waning as it’s expended on this struggle?
The unexpected plethora of orange butterflies reminded me, yet again, that we don’t have to figure things out on our own. Maybe you’ve got your own God Gang. Or perhaps it’s the Universe, Spirit, Divine Intelligence, or the power of friendship that feels real to you. Maybe you see things work out in your life in ways better than you envisioned and you certainly don’t understand this, but it makes you feel a sense of curious relief when it happens.
Whatever it is for you, tap into this if you feel alone in your search for clarity and answers. Ask for help. Tell God, the Universe, etc. what you’re needing. And if you’re feeling unheard, say this, too, even if you need to do it in a rage attack like me! And then pose a Power Question like: “I wonder what other possible solutions are gonna show up that I haven’t even thought of yet?”. And whatever you do, DON’T try to answer it! 🤩
Can you feel the relief in this question even though more clarity hasn’t yet arrived? It reminds us more solutions are on the way that may be outside our current awareness. It removes the weight we often feel when we believe we have to figure it all out on our own. It allows us to step out of the way, sometimes just enough to enable relief to slide in, even while the answers are still taking shape. And THAT, my friends, clears the way for clarity to slip in with ease. PHEW, right? ❤️
P.S. Know a loved one or friend who is looking for relief in THIS moment? Share my free MICRO-MOMENT RESET with them so they can move into relief, feel more ease, and find more clarity without having to work so hard to make it all happen.
P.P.S. If you’ve been enjoying my weekly blogs and are itching for more daily inspiration, follow me on Facebook (Emily Colwell), Instagram (dr.emily_colwell), and Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh1EqJz3wcFJfICkN60krnQ) . I post frequently and humor leaks into most of my posts!
Emily Colwell, MSSW, ND
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